There's never an easy way to guarantee how long love will last in a relationship. Many people, however, believe that if you are friends first, the chances that love will last longer is greater.

But, is that necessarily true? Will love last longer if you are friends first?

"Definitely," reveals New York social psychologist Dr. Grace Cornish. "As friends first, you like each other first. You develop a respect for each other. You're looking out for each other's best interests. I urge people--marry your best friend."

Dr. Cornish, author of the book 10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives, says that love, kindness and respect equal friendship.

"You're always kind to your friend. You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. In a friendship you're equally grounded. You're not looking for any kind of ownership. There's no respect if you become possessive and controlling."

Friendship is especially important for love to last longer when it comes to marriage, tells Dr. Cornish.

"Marriage takes place long before the wedding. The wedding is the celebration, but the marriage and initial bonding should have started long before," explains Dr. Cornish.

She continues, "If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not so a person can marry you. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. Then, they let their guards down. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first. When you're true friends from the beginning, you don't have to pretend."

The husband and wife team of clinical psychologists Dr. Derek S. Hopson and Dr. Darlene Powell Hopson concur that love will last longer if you're friends first.

The Connecticut-based psychologists, who authored the book Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates: A Guide To Better Relationships Between Black Men And Women, were friends for two years before their relationship blossomed into romance. Today, after 15 years of marriage, their love is still going strong.

"A friend is someone you can trust. It's someone you can be vulnerable with. It's someone you can be open and honest with and that person will be the same with you," Dr. Darlene Powell Hopson points out.

Adds Dr. Derek S. Hopson, "A friend you can tell anything and it won't be the world's business. It'll be kept in confidence. A friend also won't allow others to downgrade you when you aren't present. Sometimes people forget that you shouldn't let private discussions become public."

Dr. Darlene Powell Hopson contends that though they've been married for more than a decade, she and her husband continue to work on their friendship.

"At least once a month, we're checking in about how we're feeling. We're talking about how we can enhance our friendship," she says. "In a friendship there is respect and communication. It's about being able to love each other as human beings who have flaws and weaknesses. It's demonstrating unconditional love. It's all right to say, `I don't like you but I still love you.'"

Concludes Dr. Derek S. Hopson, "On a spiritual level, it's about valuing and respecting the gift God has provided for you. You've been given the opportunity to have a relationship with someone. When you seek a gift from God, that's a blessing. You want to take and nurture that blessing. That's what being friends is about."

While many experts believe that love will last longer if you're friends first, Dr. Aaron Stills, chairman of the department of human development and psychoeducational studies at Howard University, does not agree.

"Naturally in any relationship in order to establish the foundation of the relationship, you have to start out as friends. But that's no guarantee that the friendship nor the marriage will last," resolves Dr. Stills.

The associate professor of counseling psychology at Howard University maintains that when people move from friends to lovers, the dynamics of the relationship usually change for the worse. In most instances, the love dissolves even faster.

"The expectations that one has for a friend are different than when you get married. It's a paradox. You would think if you're friends, it would make for a long-lasting marital relationship," cites Dr. Stills. "But, that's not necessarily true mainly because the expectations change once people get married or take the friendship to a romantic level."

The reason for the changes, concedes Dr. Stills, is that responsibilities, in the eyesight of many, differ for friends than lovers.

"As friends there is a different kind of commitment. As friends you can walk away when you want to, but within a marital relationship, you're bound. There are certain boundaries you have to adhere to."

Dr. Stills suggests that people work on building a "solid friendship" before they move forward in a relationship.

Friends in life are very important, and life cannot be the same if friends are not in the picture. It is pretty important to have those who you can lean on when times are hard and even when times are good. There are many things that people close us do for you and, one of the things is to bring untold joy and companionship. Allies will help you get ahead in life and you will find all the assistance you need when faced with a certain problem. It is vital to cherish those close to you because you might need them. However, in the present day, it is becoming incredibly hard to maintain that close comrade spirit. This can be owed to very many reasons. For example, the financial turmoil being experienced all over has really dealt a blow on many people; and many are no longer spending time with close associates. Relationships have greatly been influenced and, in these difficult times, people are retreating into their shells. There are many other issues that affect or influence people coming together in harmony and unity.

When you make friends, it is because you have taken a few things into consideration and seen that they are good people. The following are some of the things you should look at when you are looking for good friends. Many times, we talk more to people we can relate to. This is because you have something in common that you can talk about. You get to identify with them and this is where many unions start. You also look at people who you are close to on a daily basis. If they are not out of reach, you can easily go to them when something is troubling you. This is the reason why you find people working together having a close relationship. A good ally is one who can be there to comfort you when you most need it. You should look at the character and traits of the person. It is just not enough that you are working together. They have to be people who have the characteristics that you are looking for so that you can compliment each other.

Good friends would not just be there with you at your happy moments but, they should be there when you are down. They should not just play the role of going with everything you say but, they should critic you in places where you need criticism that is creative. They should really understand you very well from the inside. Many times, you might wonder whether true close allies are in existence. The spirit that breeds solidarity will never fade away and, as a long you are willing to look for others for the purpose of unity and closeness, the spirit will live on. Therefore, when you are lovable, you will attract many to your side. Remember to judge each person with their values and characteristics. Above all, when you establish great relationships, you should have fun and enjoy pieces of life as they come.